Speaking to My Heart

I discovered this song about 2 weeks ago and immediately it spoke to me. It takes me back to the time when Caleb was born and through our journey in the NICU. I just wanted to share it.


"Never Once"

Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we’ve come
Knowing that for every step
You were with us

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You’ve done
Knowing every victory
Was Your power in us

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful

A Silent Language

I struggle each day trying to figure what our son needs. I can't help but wonder if there is more I can do to help him comunicate with me. We read often & I have been attempting to teach him baby sign language for the last year. I try to be as consistent as I can because I beleive that is A key to raising children, but there are still only a hand full of things he signs back to me. We have successfully conquered Milk, dog, ball, please, thank you, and most recently drink. I have tried to learn the animal signs for the books we read most, but still there isn't any reciprication there. I know Caleb understand us when we speak to him, But I feel like there should be more words. I am curious if me teaching him signing is preventing his speech in some way. I guess that is a question for the new pediatrician. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that he is communicating in the ways that he does. It's truly amazing to see him watch me for so long and then one day I ask him " can you say_____" and POOF he just does it. I don't want to be naive in thinking that there will not be anymore bumps to get over, since Caleb was born so early. Remembering when the Neonatologist came to me room that Friday, brings that reality back so freshly. He said there was a 60% chance our baby would survive, an 80% there would be some developmental issues and 25% of those being significant. And here we are 18 months later still unsure of what these next years will bring but I do believe he is a more amazing Miracle in so many ways. As I mentioned before in previous post, our son is a precious reminder of how much God loves us and what a Miracle worker He is. It seems like since his birth our life is sprinkled with situations that continuously remind me where we have come from. I seem to hear more and more about Micro preemies being born, there are movies that talk about 24 weekers like the movie I just watched- OctoberBaby. Even this weekend at church I was reminded by the music of how much God's peace was/is with me;how He is with me/us-Always. I want to elaborate a little more on this weekend, But I'll save it for the next post.

Change.....

I've never been good at change. For me that marks an opportunity to fail at something; it could be something small or big, but none the less it's a chance to fail. I've had so many opportunites to see that God is faithful and His plan for me is good and perfect. I need to work on remembering that everyday, since i have a living reminder of it in Caleb.

Since Caleb turned 1 in October, there have been so many new and exciting changes in our family.

1. Caleb is running all over the place now. He started walking in December and started running shortly after that (what and over achiever!)

2. The little surgery that we opted to have done went wonderfully!

3. He was offically dishcarged form physical therapy in Janurary since he's making all his milestone along with his peers. His therapist said he was one of the fastest micro-preemies she's seen catch up.

4. We moved!

I know that last one probably isn't a suprise for a lot of friends since I am writing this in our new home. God finally answereda long time prayer to move us closer to our family and friends. We diligently prayed for this for the last 5 years at least and now it has finally happened. Once a gain a reminder of how much God knows the desire s of my heart. I have had a few people comment on Caleb's story by way of this blog and I truly do hope that I can keep up with it and our new life. Each day as I watch my son do something new, or sign or say something new I am truly honored to be his mommy. I am so happy that I can chat about our stuggles with great friends who has toddlers nearly the same age. It's pure joy hearing about how our children develop and grow similarly, yet so differenly in their unique way. I am glad I am not the only one praying I don't fail my child in some way. I am glad I'm reminded that mistakes and failures are teachable moments that grow us and change us.